Summer Update

It goes without saying that it's been a long time since we've posted anything about Doreen and Carl. While the changes are not nearly as dramatic as they were a year ago, we continue to see improvement. Here are some tidbits to get you up to date.

What hasn’t changed:

1. Doreen is still living in the health care wing of Timbercrest, and Carl is living in an apartment in the Manor, although they regularly eat the noon and evening meals together in health care, and Carl spends most of his day in Doreen’s room. Carl eats breakfast in his dining room and then goes to Doreen’s wing. Mostly because he is an early riser and she likes to sleep in!

2. There has been no return of appetite or eating problems. (The photo below includes Darell and Liz Bowman (Clay's parents), Cameron, David Bowman (Clay's brother), Karen, Doreen and Carl.)

What is improving:

1. Doreen needs less and less help with eating. She still has a lot of challenges with steadiness of the hands, but she spills things much less often, and she can prepare much of her food without help.

2. She is using a walker more frequently and often goes to meals, to therapy, and to the bathroom using the walker instead of the wheelchair. Her left leg can be a challenge, though, and she needs to be reminded to slow down. A video of Doreen walking to therapy with Karen is posted below.

3. Alertness is no longer an issue most of the time. She does not seem to get as exhausted when she attends events, listens to stories told by family and friends, or watches television or movies.

4. She can read and follow the lines of the text, although it is tiring. She still feels like her eyes are not working quite right.

5. A few weeks ago, Judy attended church with Doreen and Carl, and Doreen was able to sing the hymns, follow the verses, and sing alto in tune! Let’s all sing Hallelujah!

6. Doreen and Carl are trying to resume some of their practice of sending cards to friends and family. It may be a little haphazard, but this desire shows a move away from an exclusive focus on themselves and Doreen’s recovery. They do care about you!

Difficult changes:

1. Being in a retirement community and living life as "eighty-somethings" has meant that there are many times of grief and loss. A friend who sat close to them in the dining room died several weeks ago. Last week their table companion in health care died. Recently Doreen’s roommate Jeanette died. An especially difficult death to accept was when Jim Garber died last week. He was a very good friend who was very supportive in the last year. He coordinated the transportation for Carl’s many trips to Ft. Wayne before Doreen moved to Timbercrest. We will all miss him.

2. For a while after Doreen’s roommate died, she was the only resident in her room. When she did get a new roommate, it was a person with a lot of needs that made it difficult for Doreen to sleep. So she moved across the hall with Ruth, a 94-year-old woman whom she likes very well. Both of them were offered a single room after they moved in together, but both decided to stay where they were. It's clear that they both enjoy each other’s company.

Please accept our apologies for the long gap in updates. Let us know if you have any questions. Thanks for your support! (Below is a video from the Myers-Bowman family's recent visit to Timbercrest.)

March 16 and 17 update

March 16 and 17, 2009

 

Report from Doreen, Carl, and Judy—

 

On March 16, granddaughters Amanda and Kelsey came to visit from New York and New Jersey, respectively. Dick and Judy traveled up from Lafayette to visit with them and with Doreen and Carl. Here are some tidbits from the visits, many “dictated” by Doreen and sometimes Carl (their notes are in quotations).

-         Doreen has named her wheelchair “Wheel-helmina.”

-         The therapy aides report that Doreen’s walking with a walker has been going well. She has been walking only in the therapy room, though. Doreen called Judy on March 18, however, to say that she will now be walking to meals with her walker (after the aides are trained to do this and with someone following with a wheelchair). This is good news! It will help to build up Doreen’s strength and coordination!

-         Doreen has now had cataracts removed in both eyes. The eye doctor told her not to wear her glasses for a while, because the prescription isn’t right any more, and it could confuse her brain to try to focus with them. That means that she can’t really read, and it gets difficult to see things. “We are hoping that when the lenses are changed, it will help with balance and dizziness.”

-         Judy, Doreen, Carl, and Dick worked together on the St. Patrick’s Day crossword puzzle being circulated at Timbercreast. We did well, but what is the pagan religion converted by St. Patrick? And what is the name of another (female) saint celebrated in March?

-         “We got encouraging news from the surgeon.”

-         They are working on getting the annual letter out—although it hasn’t been annual for a while, and Doreen says that she will need to get back on her computer for that.

-         “We continue to have great confidence in family supporting us so strongly.”

-         Doreen—“Your dad has been so supportive. He eats his breakfast upstairs [note—they are on the same level, but they talk about upstairs and downstairs] and then is so faithful in coming to get me and take me to my breakfast..”

-         Carl—“It is hard to select her clothes. She asks for her dark this or dark that. I try to be an encourager. It is a loving environment here.”

-         “We have enjoyed the visits of our very favorite granddaughters. [note—their only granddaughters] All of our granddaughters are good kids.

 

All of us have been saddened to learn of the death of Egon Borgmann, Doreen and Carl’s first exchange student from 1953-54. We were all comforted by the fact that he apparently died in his sleep with no pain or struggling. He had so many ailments that it could have been much more difficult.

 

Thank you again for your ongoing support and prayers.

Doreen: Direct!

Dictated by Doreen to Judy on February 15

Doreen: On February 12th I had one cataract removed. There is not a lot of difference in vision, but I think it might be helping the dizziness some. The next day I went back for a check-up and they noticed a little piece had broken off, so they did it again. The next eye will be done on Feb. 26.

I appreciate having some say in what my schedule is—what time to go to bed and what time to get up.

Carl’s addition: There seems to be a shortage of aides to respond when she needs something.

Doreen: That is everywhere—just like nurses.

Timbercrest had a Valentine’s Day party on Friday. Carl sang “Because” to me. [Note—that is the song he sang as Doreen came down the aisle in their wedding. Carl said he could sing only one verse this time, because he was getting too choked up.]

There are interesting people we have met at Timbercrest—all kinds. All kinds of interests and backgrounds. One aide has an 18-month-old and a 5-year-old. She isn’t married, but she has been with the father for 7 years.

Carl: the culture is that of a caring community.

Doreen: Daniel (our grandson) can come over to visit. He just dropped in ten days ago.

All the mail is appreciated.

I am anxious to get home and see what else I want to bring—furniture and clothes.

Judy’s note: Both Mom and Dad seem to be doing very well. Mom seemed very positive and very aware of what was happening. She had started a project that was very reminiscent of the past; she was writing different words to a familiar song. It was for Dad’s Valentine. As she put it, she was writing other words to the “very romantic song” Ten Little Indians. We didn’t finish rewriting her words (she had written them, but they were not very legible), but the song started with “1 year, 2 years, 3 and 4; 5 years, 10 years, 60 and more; You’ve been my Valentine and I’ve been yours…”

Life at Timbercrest

(Note: Doreen got moved into Timbercrest back in December and continues to make great progress. We'll post updates and pictures on the family gathering at Christmas, but here are some more recent reflections from Judy.)
by Judy

On January 19, Judy went to North Manchester to visit Carl and Doreen and to take Doreen to an appointment with Dr. Kachmann, her neurosurgeon. She hadn’t seen him for a long time, and Lori Zimmerman, Carl and Doreen’s new physician, thought it would be good to check with him and see if he could make sure that the continuing dizziness was not related to the shunt or any other treatable brain conditions.

[By the way, Lori Zimmerman is the daughter of Gary Zimmerman, who was the academic advisor and mentor for Judy, Karen, and Amanda when each of them was at Manchester. In fact, Lori was the baby on the blanket in the child psychology course that Judy took from Gary. Lori, her sister, and her parents also took part in Karen’s wedding, so it seems natural at the same time it seems strange. I wonder how that baby could be her parents’ physician!]

The appointment in Ft. Wayne went smoothly. Judy, Doreen, and Carl drove together and were able to use a wheelchair at the Neurology Clinic. Dr. Kachmann and his nurse Brian greeted us like old friends, and they were very pleased to see the progress Doreen has made. They pronounced the shunt as functional and seemed to feel that there was nothing unexpected in Doreen’s progress. We really did not learn much there, but we were glad to see that they were pleased and that things were functioning the way they should. And Doreen made a point to thank both Dr. Kachmann and Brian for saving her life. She also apologized if she insulted them with her joking before the last surgery they performed. She has heard (although she doesn’t remember doing it) that she asked if they were going to use a chain saw for the surgery. Of course, Dr. Kachmann and Brian both said that they appreciated the sense of humor.

A theme in Doreen’s thinking during that day and since then came from a message given by Joe Mason at chapel on January 18: “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” She has been singing Great is Thy Faithfulness in her head since then, and she feels it has worked. She feels that she has gotten promising feedback from several sources since then, and feels she is getting strength for the days.

After returning to Timbercrest, Judy shared some birthday presents, although Doreen’s birthday was actually on January 25th.

The next day, Doreen saw Lori Zimmerman again, and this time she was diagnosed with a sinus infection. It could that this infection has been a factor in the dizziness. She is now being treated for that, and we all are counting for the treatment to be “bright hope for tomorrow.”

A few days after that, Doreen went to Grossnickle Eye Clinic in Warsaw to see if they could give her any information about her problems with her eyesight. What she was told is that she has some cataracts that should be removed. Actually, she was told the same thing by her eye doctor in Illinois earlier. That doctor had told her that she would tell him when it was time to remove them. She is now agreeing that it is time. After the cataracts are removed in February, her prescription for her glasses will be checked. Then they will see if anything else needs to be done. So some more “bright hope for tomorrow.”

A couple of weeks ago, Doreen also had her hearing checked. Not surprisingly to anyone in the family, she has a hearing loss. Next month, the hearing specialist will start working on finding the right hearing aids—and will check Carl’s hearing more closely. Having assistive devices could make a huge difference for both of them! All of these things were put on hold after the emergency last spring, but now it is time to get on with them!

Last week was the final week for therapy for the time being, because Doreen had reached a plateau and was not showing continuing progress. Some of the lack of progress could be blamed on the dizziness and perhaps on a brief bout of the flu the week before last. But Doreen’s response is that she isn’t sure if it is a success or a failure that the therapy is stopping. Is it because she has a accomplished so much or because she is accomplishing too little? In any case, she is hoping for continuing restorative therapy to keep strengthening her hands, arms, and legs and to keep moving ahead.

For her birthday today, Doreen and Carl were able to attend church with the Manchester congregation, the first time they had do so without their daughters. Kurt Borgmann, pastor in Manchester and son of Carl and Doreen’s first exchange student in the 1950s, picked her up. After church, Daniel (Karen’s son who is attending Manchester) and the Borgmanns went out to eat with Carl and Doreen at a local restaurant. It is wonderful to be able to do these more “normal” and familiar activities, even if there are many reminders that things have changed. We are all very grateful that Doreen has celebrated another birthday and look forward to many more!

In case you don’t know, Doreen now has a phone in her room. Let us know if you would like to have her number.

Finally!

The family just got confirmation on Tuesday that Doreen has been accepted and will be moving to Timbercrest on Monday, December 8th! Karen, Linda, and Judy will all be there to assist with the transition. I'm sure they will provide a much more detailed report next week.

However, Karen has still not been able to get in touch with Carl to tell him of the news. She's continuing to try and call this morning.

Thanks for all you thoughts and prayers over the past 6 months. Doreen has made wonderful progress since her move to the Rehab Hospital and while she will be sad to leave the kind people there, she is very much looking forward to being in North Manchester.

Dear Carl Myers Travelers

by Jim Garber

After this week we will have been at the task of providing rides for Carl to Ft Wayne for 16 weeks. I hope you know how thankful Carl, Doreen, and the whole family are for your generous rides.

Now, in consultation with the family, we believe it is time change our strategy. It is our plan to move from a style which demands special trips to a plan which, hopefully, can take advantage of occasional journeys that can combine your needs to be in Fort Wayne when Carl can ride along.

Here’s what we are suggesting: When any of you find yourselves heading for Ft Wayne for shopping, medical visits, or whatever, we encourage you to invite Carl to be a passenger. He can be dropped off at the hospital (he no longer needs someone to stay with him), where he can visit with Doreen and then return with you to Timbercrest on your schedule.

I expect I will remind you each week to include Carl in your travel plans when it makes sense to you. You can simple call or email me or phone Carl to set up the trip. My observation is that we are traveling often enough to provide a fairly regular ride for Carl.

If this raises any questions or reactions , please let me know. In the meantime I will look forward to our continuing serving Carl and Doreen in this more informal way.

Right of Passage

by Clay
You may remember the first time you got to mow the yard, at least I do. It was a highly anticipated and memorable moment when grandpa trusted me enough to let me MOW! And he allowed me to help years before my dad did.

Here's a video of Cameron's first experience mowing this past weekend. He's quite excited about it.



(That high pitched whine is me using the leaf blower in the garage.)

Planning for the Future

by Judy

Judy picked up Carl in North Manchester, and the two of them visited with Doreen today. After getting help with a kind family driving who helped Judy change a flat tire, she stopped at Timbercrest and helped to set up some new telephone and clock equipment for Carl. Then they surprised Doreen, who didn’t know they were coming.

The reports had been that Doreen was making great progress at the Rehab Hospital, and Judy felt that was accurate. Therapy sessions were done for the day, but Doreen was choosing TV channels and resting. The things that Judy noticed were that she smiled spontaneously more often than before, that she seemed more aware of what was happening and when, and she seemed to have a broader picture. Judy and Doreen worked on filling out a survey form related to Covington Manor (the place she was in for two months, lasting until two weeks ago), and Doreen seemed to be able to separate the experience there from the current experience and reflected very realistically on her reactions.

An exciting advancement is that the stomach tube has finally been removed! Doreen said that the doctor just “pulled it out.” She said there was some pain for about one minute, but then it was fine. So now she has two belly buttons, but the tube is gone!

One clarification involved the broken bone from the fall a couple of weeks ago. Apparently the broken bone was the bottom knuckle on the index finger of the right hand. The knuckle is still somewhat swollen and sore, but everyone hopes that the splint will be removed on Dec. 1 when she sees the orthopedist again. Doreen said that, if the splint is not taken away, she will ask if it can be taken off at least when she eats. That planning and suggestion is a great indication of Doreen taking charge of some of her care.

Crosswords are very important to Doreen at this point. She wants to do them as often as possible, and she continues to improve her abilities. She has been able to give answers to the puzzles at times throughout the last six months, but she is now able to remember recent clues and anticipate how the words may cross each other. And she still does it almost entirely in her head, because it is hard to her to see the grid and the clues. Her eyes are improving, though. She read most of a card that Judy brought, but after reading a couple of paragraphs, she seemed to lose her place or find it difficult to focus.

Doreen also continues to talk about going home and wanting to do things related to her old life, but that reflection is no longer as unrealistic and impractical as before. She no longer thinks she slept in people’s homes, that she will be going to the National Older Adults Conference when she has not yet slept anywhere besides a hospital or treatments center, or asking where she should get gas tomorrow so she can drive home. Now when she talks about going home, she says she would like to be in her home again for a little while, but she realizes it wouldn’t be like before. She wants to talk about Christmas plans, but she is planning for events at Timbercrest rather than Elgin or Camp Emmaus.

There was quite a bit of discussion about the progress she is making. There was clearly a smile when she heard about what others thought she had achieved, but she also talked about how she wished it were faster. She has come a long way, but she adds that she has a long way to go.

Birthday with Daniel

by Daniel Myers-Bowman (freshman at Manchester College)

On Sunday, I helped Grandpa Carl celebrate his birthday by taking him to visit Doreen in Ft. Wayne. A friend of mine was kind enough to lend us a car. We spent much of the day doing crosswords, which seem to be getting much easier for her. For Carl's birthday dinner, we brought in some Chinese food, which we all enjoyed very much. Doreen's condition gets better every time I see her. The Rehab hospital is able to meet all of her needs quite well, from what I could tell. The nurses responded very quickly whenever she needed help, and treat her with great care. I think she is in a good place for now, while we wait for her to be able to move to Timbercrest.

Birthday Greetings

(The photo at right was taken during Carl and Doreen's 60th anniversary celebration during the summer of 2007.)

Tomorrow, Sunday, November 16, is Carl's birthday. If you get the chance, you can post a message here for him to read. My guess is that he'll be in church in the morning then headed to Fort Wayne to visit Doreen. All of us want to express our appreciation for all the support and encouragement you've given dad over the past 5 1/2 months.