Summer Update

It goes without saying that it's been a long time since we've posted anything about Doreen and Carl. While the changes are not nearly as dramatic as they were a year ago, we continue to see improvement. Here are some tidbits to get you up to date.

What hasn’t changed:

1. Doreen is still living in the health care wing of Timbercrest, and Carl is living in an apartment in the Manor, although they regularly eat the noon and evening meals together in health care, and Carl spends most of his day in Doreen’s room. Carl eats breakfast in his dining room and then goes to Doreen’s wing. Mostly because he is an early riser and she likes to sleep in!

2. There has been no return of appetite or eating problems. (The photo below includes Darell and Liz Bowman (Clay's parents), Cameron, David Bowman (Clay's brother), Karen, Doreen and Carl.)

What is improving:

1. Doreen needs less and less help with eating. She still has a lot of challenges with steadiness of the hands, but she spills things much less often, and she can prepare much of her food without help.

2. She is using a walker more frequently and often goes to meals, to therapy, and to the bathroom using the walker instead of the wheelchair. Her left leg can be a challenge, though, and she needs to be reminded to slow down. A video of Doreen walking to therapy with Karen is posted below.

3. Alertness is no longer an issue most of the time. She does not seem to get as exhausted when she attends events, listens to stories told by family and friends, or watches television or movies.

4. She can read and follow the lines of the text, although it is tiring. She still feels like her eyes are not working quite right.

5. A few weeks ago, Judy attended church with Doreen and Carl, and Doreen was able to sing the hymns, follow the verses, and sing alto in tune! Let’s all sing Hallelujah!

6. Doreen and Carl are trying to resume some of their practice of sending cards to friends and family. It may be a little haphazard, but this desire shows a move away from an exclusive focus on themselves and Doreen’s recovery. They do care about you!

Difficult changes:

1. Being in a retirement community and living life as "eighty-somethings" has meant that there are many times of grief and loss. A friend who sat close to them in the dining room died several weeks ago. Last week their table companion in health care died. Recently Doreen’s roommate Jeanette died. An especially difficult death to accept was when Jim Garber died last week. He was a very good friend who was very supportive in the last year. He coordinated the transportation for Carl’s many trips to Ft. Wayne before Doreen moved to Timbercrest. We will all miss him.

2. For a while after Doreen’s roommate died, she was the only resident in her room. When she did get a new roommate, it was a person with a lot of needs that made it difficult for Doreen to sleep. So she moved across the hall with Ruth, a 94-year-old woman whom she likes very well. Both of them were offered a single room after they moved in together, but both decided to stay where they were. It's clear that they both enjoy each other’s company.

Please accept our apologies for the long gap in updates. Let us know if you have any questions. Thanks for your support! (Below is a video from the Myers-Bowman family's recent visit to Timbercrest.)

March 16 and 17 update

March 16 and 17, 2009

 

Report from Doreen, Carl, and Judy—

 

On March 16, granddaughters Amanda and Kelsey came to visit from New York and New Jersey, respectively. Dick and Judy traveled up from Lafayette to visit with them and with Doreen and Carl. Here are some tidbits from the visits, many “dictated” by Doreen and sometimes Carl (their notes are in quotations).

-         Doreen has named her wheelchair “Wheel-helmina.”

-         The therapy aides report that Doreen’s walking with a walker has been going well. She has been walking only in the therapy room, though. Doreen called Judy on March 18, however, to say that she will now be walking to meals with her walker (after the aides are trained to do this and with someone following with a wheelchair). This is good news! It will help to build up Doreen’s strength and coordination!

-         Doreen has now had cataracts removed in both eyes. The eye doctor told her not to wear her glasses for a while, because the prescription isn’t right any more, and it could confuse her brain to try to focus with them. That means that she can’t really read, and it gets difficult to see things. “We are hoping that when the lenses are changed, it will help with balance and dizziness.”

-         Judy, Doreen, Carl, and Dick worked together on the St. Patrick’s Day crossword puzzle being circulated at Timbercreast. We did well, but what is the pagan religion converted by St. Patrick? And what is the name of another (female) saint celebrated in March?

-         “We got encouraging news from the surgeon.”

-         They are working on getting the annual letter out—although it hasn’t been annual for a while, and Doreen says that she will need to get back on her computer for that.

-         “We continue to have great confidence in family supporting us so strongly.”

-         Doreen—“Your dad has been so supportive. He eats his breakfast upstairs [note—they are on the same level, but they talk about upstairs and downstairs] and then is so faithful in coming to get me and take me to my breakfast..”

-         Carl—“It is hard to select her clothes. She asks for her dark this or dark that. I try to be an encourager. It is a loving environment here.”

-         “We have enjoyed the visits of our very favorite granddaughters. [note—their only granddaughters] All of our granddaughters are good kids.

 

All of us have been saddened to learn of the death of Egon Borgmann, Doreen and Carl’s first exchange student from 1953-54. We were all comforted by the fact that he apparently died in his sleep with no pain or struggling. He had so many ailments that it could have been much more difficult.

 

Thank you again for your ongoing support and prayers.

Doreen: Direct!

Dictated by Doreen to Judy on February 15

Doreen: On February 12th I had one cataract removed. There is not a lot of difference in vision, but I think it might be helping the dizziness some. The next day I went back for a check-up and they noticed a little piece had broken off, so they did it again. The next eye will be done on Feb. 26.

I appreciate having some say in what my schedule is—what time to go to bed and what time to get up.

Carl’s addition: There seems to be a shortage of aides to respond when she needs something.

Doreen: That is everywhere—just like nurses.

Timbercrest had a Valentine’s Day party on Friday. Carl sang “Because” to me. [Note—that is the song he sang as Doreen came down the aisle in their wedding. Carl said he could sing only one verse this time, because he was getting too choked up.]

There are interesting people we have met at Timbercrest—all kinds. All kinds of interests and backgrounds. One aide has an 18-month-old and a 5-year-old. She isn’t married, but she has been with the father for 7 years.

Carl: the culture is that of a caring community.

Doreen: Daniel (our grandson) can come over to visit. He just dropped in ten days ago.

All the mail is appreciated.

I am anxious to get home and see what else I want to bring—furniture and clothes.

Judy’s note: Both Mom and Dad seem to be doing very well. Mom seemed very positive and very aware of what was happening. She had started a project that was very reminiscent of the past; she was writing different words to a familiar song. It was for Dad’s Valentine. As she put it, she was writing other words to the “very romantic song” Ten Little Indians. We didn’t finish rewriting her words (she had written them, but they were not very legible), but the song started with “1 year, 2 years, 3 and 4; 5 years, 10 years, 60 and more; You’ve been my Valentine and I’ve been yours…”

Life at Timbercrest

(Note: Doreen got moved into Timbercrest back in December and continues to make great progress. We'll post updates and pictures on the family gathering at Christmas, but here are some more recent reflections from Judy.)
by Judy

On January 19, Judy went to North Manchester to visit Carl and Doreen and to take Doreen to an appointment with Dr. Kachmann, her neurosurgeon. She hadn’t seen him for a long time, and Lori Zimmerman, Carl and Doreen’s new physician, thought it would be good to check with him and see if he could make sure that the continuing dizziness was not related to the shunt or any other treatable brain conditions.

[By the way, Lori Zimmerman is the daughter of Gary Zimmerman, who was the academic advisor and mentor for Judy, Karen, and Amanda when each of them was at Manchester. In fact, Lori was the baby on the blanket in the child psychology course that Judy took from Gary. Lori, her sister, and her parents also took part in Karen’s wedding, so it seems natural at the same time it seems strange. I wonder how that baby could be her parents’ physician!]

The appointment in Ft. Wayne went smoothly. Judy, Doreen, and Carl drove together and were able to use a wheelchair at the Neurology Clinic. Dr. Kachmann and his nurse Brian greeted us like old friends, and they were very pleased to see the progress Doreen has made. They pronounced the shunt as functional and seemed to feel that there was nothing unexpected in Doreen’s progress. We really did not learn much there, but we were glad to see that they were pleased and that things were functioning the way they should. And Doreen made a point to thank both Dr. Kachmann and Brian for saving her life. She also apologized if she insulted them with her joking before the last surgery they performed. She has heard (although she doesn’t remember doing it) that she asked if they were going to use a chain saw for the surgery. Of course, Dr. Kachmann and Brian both said that they appreciated the sense of humor.

A theme in Doreen’s thinking during that day and since then came from a message given by Joe Mason at chapel on January 18: “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” She has been singing Great is Thy Faithfulness in her head since then, and she feels it has worked. She feels that she has gotten promising feedback from several sources since then, and feels she is getting strength for the days.

After returning to Timbercrest, Judy shared some birthday presents, although Doreen’s birthday was actually on January 25th.

The next day, Doreen saw Lori Zimmerman again, and this time she was diagnosed with a sinus infection. It could that this infection has been a factor in the dizziness. She is now being treated for that, and we all are counting for the treatment to be “bright hope for tomorrow.”

A few days after that, Doreen went to Grossnickle Eye Clinic in Warsaw to see if they could give her any information about her problems with her eyesight. What she was told is that she has some cataracts that should be removed. Actually, she was told the same thing by her eye doctor in Illinois earlier. That doctor had told her that she would tell him when it was time to remove them. She is now agreeing that it is time. After the cataracts are removed in February, her prescription for her glasses will be checked. Then they will see if anything else needs to be done. So some more “bright hope for tomorrow.”

A couple of weeks ago, Doreen also had her hearing checked. Not surprisingly to anyone in the family, she has a hearing loss. Next month, the hearing specialist will start working on finding the right hearing aids—and will check Carl’s hearing more closely. Having assistive devices could make a huge difference for both of them! All of these things were put on hold after the emergency last spring, but now it is time to get on with them!

Last week was the final week for therapy for the time being, because Doreen had reached a plateau and was not showing continuing progress. Some of the lack of progress could be blamed on the dizziness and perhaps on a brief bout of the flu the week before last. But Doreen’s response is that she isn’t sure if it is a success or a failure that the therapy is stopping. Is it because she has a accomplished so much or because she is accomplishing too little? In any case, she is hoping for continuing restorative therapy to keep strengthening her hands, arms, and legs and to keep moving ahead.

For her birthday today, Doreen and Carl were able to attend church with the Manchester congregation, the first time they had do so without their daughters. Kurt Borgmann, pastor in Manchester and son of Carl and Doreen’s first exchange student in the 1950s, picked her up. After church, Daniel (Karen’s son who is attending Manchester) and the Borgmanns went out to eat with Carl and Doreen at a local restaurant. It is wonderful to be able to do these more “normal” and familiar activities, even if there are many reminders that things have changed. We are all very grateful that Doreen has celebrated another birthday and look forward to many more!

In case you don’t know, Doreen now has a phone in her room. Let us know if you would like to have her number.

Finally!

The family just got confirmation on Tuesday that Doreen has been accepted and will be moving to Timbercrest on Monday, December 8th! Karen, Linda, and Judy will all be there to assist with the transition. I'm sure they will provide a much more detailed report next week.

However, Karen has still not been able to get in touch with Carl to tell him of the news. She's continuing to try and call this morning.

Thanks for all you thoughts and prayers over the past 6 months. Doreen has made wonderful progress since her move to the Rehab Hospital and while she will be sad to leave the kind people there, she is very much looking forward to being in North Manchester.

Dear Carl Myers Travelers

by Jim Garber

After this week we will have been at the task of providing rides for Carl to Ft Wayne for 16 weeks. I hope you know how thankful Carl, Doreen, and the whole family are for your generous rides.

Now, in consultation with the family, we believe it is time change our strategy. It is our plan to move from a style which demands special trips to a plan which, hopefully, can take advantage of occasional journeys that can combine your needs to be in Fort Wayne when Carl can ride along.

Here’s what we are suggesting: When any of you find yourselves heading for Ft Wayne for shopping, medical visits, or whatever, we encourage you to invite Carl to be a passenger. He can be dropped off at the hospital (he no longer needs someone to stay with him), where he can visit with Doreen and then return with you to Timbercrest on your schedule.

I expect I will remind you each week to include Carl in your travel plans when it makes sense to you. You can simple call or email me or phone Carl to set up the trip. My observation is that we are traveling often enough to provide a fairly regular ride for Carl.

If this raises any questions or reactions , please let me know. In the meantime I will look forward to our continuing serving Carl and Doreen in this more informal way.

Right of Passage

by Clay
You may remember the first time you got to mow the yard, at least I do. It was a highly anticipated and memorable moment when grandpa trusted me enough to let me MOW! And he allowed me to help years before my dad did.

Here's a video of Cameron's first experience mowing this past weekend. He's quite excited about it.



(That high pitched whine is me using the leaf blower in the garage.)

Planning for the Future

by Judy

Judy picked up Carl in North Manchester, and the two of them visited with Doreen today. After getting help with a kind family driving who helped Judy change a flat tire, she stopped at Timbercrest and helped to set up some new telephone and clock equipment for Carl. Then they surprised Doreen, who didn’t know they were coming.

The reports had been that Doreen was making great progress at the Rehab Hospital, and Judy felt that was accurate. Therapy sessions were done for the day, but Doreen was choosing TV channels and resting. The things that Judy noticed were that she smiled spontaneously more often than before, that she seemed more aware of what was happening and when, and she seemed to have a broader picture. Judy and Doreen worked on filling out a survey form related to Covington Manor (the place she was in for two months, lasting until two weeks ago), and Doreen seemed to be able to separate the experience there from the current experience and reflected very realistically on her reactions.

An exciting advancement is that the stomach tube has finally been removed! Doreen said that the doctor just “pulled it out.” She said there was some pain for about one minute, but then it was fine. So now she has two belly buttons, but the tube is gone!

One clarification involved the broken bone from the fall a couple of weeks ago. Apparently the broken bone was the bottom knuckle on the index finger of the right hand. The knuckle is still somewhat swollen and sore, but everyone hopes that the splint will be removed on Dec. 1 when she sees the orthopedist again. Doreen said that, if the splint is not taken away, she will ask if it can be taken off at least when she eats. That planning and suggestion is a great indication of Doreen taking charge of some of her care.

Crosswords are very important to Doreen at this point. She wants to do them as often as possible, and she continues to improve her abilities. She has been able to give answers to the puzzles at times throughout the last six months, but she is now able to remember recent clues and anticipate how the words may cross each other. And she still does it almost entirely in her head, because it is hard to her to see the grid and the clues. Her eyes are improving, though. She read most of a card that Judy brought, but after reading a couple of paragraphs, she seemed to lose her place or find it difficult to focus.

Doreen also continues to talk about going home and wanting to do things related to her old life, but that reflection is no longer as unrealistic and impractical as before. She no longer thinks she slept in people’s homes, that she will be going to the National Older Adults Conference when she has not yet slept anywhere besides a hospital or treatments center, or asking where she should get gas tomorrow so she can drive home. Now when she talks about going home, she says she would like to be in her home again for a little while, but she realizes it wouldn’t be like before. She wants to talk about Christmas plans, but she is planning for events at Timbercrest rather than Elgin or Camp Emmaus.

There was quite a bit of discussion about the progress she is making. There was clearly a smile when she heard about what others thought she had achieved, but she also talked about how she wished it were faster. She has come a long way, but she adds that she has a long way to go.

Birthday with Daniel

by Daniel Myers-Bowman (freshman at Manchester College)

On Sunday, I helped Grandpa Carl celebrate his birthday by taking him to visit Doreen in Ft. Wayne. A friend of mine was kind enough to lend us a car. We spent much of the day doing crosswords, which seem to be getting much easier for her. For Carl's birthday dinner, we brought in some Chinese food, which we all enjoyed very much. Doreen's condition gets better every time I see her. The Rehab hospital is able to meet all of her needs quite well, from what I could tell. The nurses responded very quickly whenever she needed help, and treat her with great care. I think she is in a good place for now, while we wait for her to be able to move to Timbercrest.

Birthday Greetings

(The photo at right was taken during Carl and Doreen's 60th anniversary celebration during the summer of 2007.)

Tomorrow, Sunday, November 16, is Carl's birthday. If you get the chance, you can post a message here for him to read. My guess is that he'll be in church in the morning then headed to Fort Wayne to visit Doreen. All of us want to express our appreciation for all the support and encouragement you've given dad over the past 5 1/2 months.

Progress and Patience

November 9 & 10, 2008
by Judy

(Doreen is pictured here with her roommate for the past several weeks.)
Another move! As of yesterday, Monday November 10, Doreen has moved to Lutheran Rehabilitation Hospital of Fort Wayne. We saw this as an exciting move ahead, but Doreen was not so sure. (This blog entry focuses on Judy’s experience with Doreen on Sunday and Monday morning.)

On Sunday Judy drove from Lafayette to see Doreen and help her pack. She arrived a little while before supper and found Doreen alert and visiting with fellow residents. Doreen was concerned about getting food for Judy and asked the staff to order a tray. Although the food was less than special, it was good to share the meal, and nice to see Doreen interested in taking care of other people’s needs. Doreen did well with feeding herself much of the time, although her movements were somewhat spastic and jerky. She was pleased that she didn’t spill anything! The splint on her right hand (from the fall and break from a couple of weeks ago) was largely responsible for the awkwardness.

Judy had not seen her mother for two weeks, and the change was remarkable! She moved around much more accurately and comfortably, she was talking well and sitting a bit more calmly, and she seemed to be much closer to the old Doreen. But she still has a long way to go!

Judy packed things and helped Doreen with crossword puzzles. She did very well with medium-level puzzles and wanted to keep working on them. She also asked to look at greeting cards as they were taken off the wall.

When Judy first called to say that she was coming, Doreen asked some questions about the move to the Rehab Hospital. She had talked with some former residents who said that they had been at the rehab hospital and that the staff make the residents work really hard. So Doreen asked if they would make her go to the bathroom alone and get herself in and out of bed alone. She was worried that she would be expected to do things she didn’t feel she was capable of doing. That nervousness was also an issue when she asked if she would get any help with eating. It seems that she doesn’t remember much of anything from her earlier stay at the Rehab Hospital, except maybe that she wasn’t ready to be there and felt pushed beyond her limits.

On Monday morning, Judy and Carl arrived at Covington Manor to get ready for the move. After packing up last-minute items, having an exit interview with someone from social services, getting discharge papers from the nurses, and taking one more trip to the “lost clothing room” (where we found none of her missing items), Doreen and Carl were picked up by the Rehab Hospital van, and Judy drove behind. We arrived at the hospital at the same time as Linda, who was coming from Illinois. Items were stored in drawers and the admissions and nursing staff asked questions. Then it was time for lunch and a very different dining room. Then the baton was passed to Linda.

November 1 update

November 1
by Judy, Karen, & Linda

DOREEN’S RECENT “ADVENTURE”
On Monday, October 27, Judy got a call from Covington Manor that Mom had fallen out of her wheelchair. The report was that she hit her head and had a bump on her arm. They were taking her to the ER at Lutheran Hospital to be checked out, since a bump on the head was not something to ignore following 4 brain surgeries.

Judy headed to Ft. Wayne, picked up Dad in North Manchester, and the two of them traveled on to Covington Manor. When they arrived, they noticed that she had a splint on her arm. There was a bruise on her left temple, but the more significant outcome of the fall was that she caught herself with her right hand and broke a bone—the thumb bone closest to the wrist. The splint goes all the way up to her elbow, so it is rather awkward. But neither the head nor the arm was causing her a significant amount of pain.

The story of the fall is that Mom wanted to watch TV, but she dropped the list of channels. She bent over in her wheelchair to pick it up off the floor, and she fell out, hitting her head against the open bathroom door and catching herself with her hand. Like the last time she fell, she said, “I did a dumb thing.” Her roommate was gone when she fell, and there were no staff members in the room, so she scooted on the floor on her back up to the door to let someone know she needed help. Her chair alarm was going off, too, so she did get help. The fact that she could respond that quickly to ask for help is a very good sign!

Mom saw an orthopedic doctor on Wednesday and was told she will have to wear the splint for several weeks while the bone heals. We are pleased that it is a splint rather than a cast. It is removable for showering, etc. It makes it difficult to feed herself, but they have made special utensils available to her and she is able to feed herself.

During the rest of that day (Monday), much time was spent with crossword puzzles. We had hoped that therapists and activity staff would do puzzles with Mom regularly since we brought up that activity at the last Care Plan conference, but that has happened only twice. On Monday, Judy and Mom (with some contributions from Dad) completed 3—one easy, one medium, and one hard. Mom is still having difficulties with double vision, so all of her contributions to the puzzle completion were done verbally, but she is still capable of “seeing” the puzzles in her mind!

Monday evening Judy and Dad stayed until Mom got in bed. She was given two Tylenol PM, so she should have slept well that night, and we hope that the awkward splint was not too annoying. She would like to always have someone there when she goes to sleep. The family wishes we could fulfill that request.

NEXT STEP: TIMBERCREST?
On Tuesday morning, Judy joined 5 members of the Timbercrest staff/administration to discuss their current thinking regarding admitting Mom and to talk about Dad’s living situation. Karen and Linda joined the meeting by telephone conference call. Although we were hoping for a final decision, Timbercrest was not ready for that yet, but they did say are willing to admit Mom—just not quite yet. They generally do not admit residents directly to health care, but their census there is down right now. However, they have a few long-term residents who may need the open beds because they are facing health care issues. They said that they will be in touch with us in two weeks, if not before. And they still did not guarantee that we would know for sure in two weeks.

There was also discussion about Dad. The family reported that they think he is doing very well there and that his functioning has improved along with his sense of well-being since he has been a resident. Timbercrest is ready to admit him as a permanent resident, but we will not take that step until it is sure that Mom can join him at Timbercrest.

We are all hopeful that we are getting closer to finding a permanent, shared home for Mom and Dad. The support and positive thoughts sent that direction are very much appreciated!

Family Fun Time (with video!)

It's been a long time since we posted an update: sorry for the delay. Karen, Linda and Judy are all back to work and don't see Mom and Dad very often. Plus, their situations have stabilized somewhat so there are fewer changes to report. However, this makes for a L-O-N-G entry this time.
by Linda, Judy, Karen

DOREEN’S FIRST FIELD TRIPS – OCT. 10 & 12
Last weekend was homecoming weekend for Manchester College and much of the family was able to gather in North Manchester. Karen, Clay and Cameron drove in from Kansas. Amanda and Aaron flew in from New York. Linda and Lee drove in from Elgin and picked up Parker in Chicago on their way. Judy and Dick drove in from Lafayette. Daniel is living in North Manchester as a student at the college. (Unfortunately, Kelsey, living in New Jersey, was not able to take time off from her new job and Stephen and Cosmo were not able to join us from California.)

For the first time since her brain hemorrhage, Mom got to go on a field trip! On Friday afternoon Karen and Clay took her from Ft. Wayne to North Manchester and she was able to see Carl’s apartment at Timbercrest Retirement Community for the first time. She enjoyed being there and immediately (within a few minutes) asked to sit in her recliner that had been brought from home, falling asleep within minutes (or so we thought: see video at end of post). Dad, Mom, Karen, and Clay had supper in a Timbercrest dining room, and then joined the rest of the family at a concert at Manchester College. The MC choir and band were joined by alumni. The choir included Daniel—a current choir member, Amanda—a 2003 alum, and Judy—a 1975 alum. It was a fun experience and Dad loved being able to show off his "date" to the many, many friends who greeted Mom.

She enjoyed the concert, but got restless pretty quickly. She is dealing with a sort of “restless body syndrome.” She often “rocks” back and forth in the wheelchair and/or asks to be walked around. By the end of the evening, she was tired, but felt good about the visit and wished she didn’t have to go back to the rehab center. On the way back to Covington Manor with Clay and Judy, she asked Judy to work on a crossword puzzle with her. She said that would help her relax, but she wanted to be left with a challenging clue so she would have something to think about as she went to sleep! For the entire 40 minute drive, Judy would read a clue and indicate how many letters were in the answer. It was amazing how many times mom would know the answer almost immediately. (She would often beat me to the answer: Clay)

On Sunday, Judy and Karen picked up Mom early so that she could be in North Manchester in time for church. She sat in her wheelchair in the back because she needed to move her chair back and forth or be walked around, but she appreciated the sermon and was again greeted by a long line of friendly and supportive people. After leaving church we went to Timbercrest for lunch. 13 family members and the five members of the Borgmann family (Kurt is pastor at the Manchester church and the son of Egon, an exchange student who lived with the Myers family in the 1950s) shared lunch, fellowship, and stories in Dad’s apartment and the lounge on Dad’s wing. Mom could sit in her recliner, watch TV, laugh at grandchildren, or sleep. We just “hung out,” and it felt good. Mom did very well and hopes to be with her family more often, but it was very difficult for her to go back to Covington to be alone again.

MOM’S “CONDITION”
Mom is having some challenges keeping her spirits up. She says she gets lonely at Covington. She also has begun to realize that she will not be able to do all the things she used to do. She told Karen, “I miss my life – I really loved my life!” It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows her that she feels like she needs to plan something. And she misses Elgin. While we are sad that she feels sad, this is a step forward. Even a few weeks ago, she was not truly aware enough of the situation to be sad. This is a great indication that her brain is healing!

On Friday afternoon (Oct. 10), Karen, Clay, and Judy attended a Care Plan meeting at Covington Manor for Mom. Some helpful information was shared, but the meeting was also rather frustrating for us, because the information we receive can be inconsistent. While her swallow study came back with the “all clear,” she is still having some trouble with occasional gagging. She is eating a regular diet but is quite tired of the limited selection (especially because she does not eat red meat and often ends up with a micro-waved and rubbery piece of chicken).

As those of you who facilitate Carl’s visits with her know, she often asks for fast food as a treat. She will then eat with gusto and enthusiasm – quite entertaining to watch. She will now and then announce she is done in the middle of her meal and then suddenly attack her meal again with verve. They have no good explanation for any of this.

During the Care Plan meeting, the staff reported what they called “impulsive” actions in her behavior. While she is doing very well with moving herself in the wheelchair with her feet, she does not steer accurately nor look carefully to be sure she will not run over something or someone. Earlier in the week, when she had been left by herself in the bathroom, she got impatient and decided to stand up on her own. Unfortunately, she fell and hit her head. Another report was that some aspects of her behavior are inconsistent—she is sometimes eager for working during therapy and other times wants to slack off. These concerns seem to hinge on her inability to consider consequences of her actions. As a result of the damage to her brain, she exists so much in the moment.

Concerns that the family has are: 1) this rather “negative” assessment of Mom’s behavior, 2) the lack of understanding of brain injury this seems to show, and 3) inconsistency and a seeming lack of coordination in the treatment at Covington Manor. In addition to the situations we described above, at the Care Plan meeting, the staff said that the PEG tube was no longer being used for feeding. However, that evening, a nurse came in the room with a bag of the “food” for administering overnight. We questioned her, and she looked at the chart and said that there was no order to stop the feeding. Apparently she was being fed through the PEG tube every night. We brought this inconsistency to the attention of the administration. Since then they have suspended the feeding and we have declined any further use of the tube. We wonder why and how often there is miscommunication.

THE FUTURE?
Considering our concerns, we are anxious to move Mom into a situation that is more supportive and with which we feel more confident about the level of care. Therefore, on Friday, Oct. 10, Karen met with administrators at Timbercrest to make the formal request of moving Mom there. She will need skilled nursing care and rehabilitation, so it will not work to have Mom and Dad in the same room yet, but it will be great to have them in the same community. We were told that there are some openings in the healthcare unit there and that they would evaluate the situation to determine whether Mom can make the move. The Director of Nursing visited Covington Manor on Thursday to review and evaluate Mom’s condition and needs. The administrative staff will meet on Monday to discuss what she found.

We should hear by the beginning of this week whether Mom may move to Timbercrest. It would be wonderful for Mom and Dad. He would be able to walk down the hallway to visit her! We are counting on everyone to send your thoughts, prayers, suggestions, and support in that direction.


The video is of Carl reading mom a letter he had received from Howard Royer. Near the end, even though it appears that she is sleeping, she asks in a shallow voice: "Who wrote that?" Listen all the way to the end!)

Weekly Update

September 20, 2008
by Judy

On Saturday Judy, Daniel, and Carl visited Doreen. They discovered that Doreen had a new hairdo. Doreen said that she had her hair cut a couple of weeks ago, but Carl said Saturday was the first time he saw the style. Which one was accurate? Only her hairdresser knows for sure…

Doreen's intestinal challenges continued, but the elevated temperature was gone. She did have several tests on Wednesday. The nurses said that the only thing that was found was a urinary tract infection (UTI). They explained that UTIs in the elderly can have lots of other impacts, many of which Doreen showed. In addition, one nurse explained that the move away from the tube-feeding also could result in some of the intestinal discomfort. So hopefully things will improve as Doreen's body adjusts!

Because some of the therapy sessions were cancelled during the week due to Doreen's exhaustion and discomfort, she had some sessions on Saturday. Some happened before the family arrived Saturday, and the report was that she had worked hard. Later in the afternoon, the family watched as she rode a bike. It is a machine that can measure how much work is being done by each leg. The challenge is for the rider to make the bars on the display even. Doreen rode for 20 minutes. The substitute therapist was surprised that it looked like the left leg was stronger than the right. She thought that Doreen had a stroke that had affected the left side. Judy explained that the event was a brain hemorrhage rather than a stroke, and that Doreen had alternated between the right side and the left side being stronger from one time to another.

Then Doreen sat in her wheelchair, put her hands on her knees, leaned forward, and tried to lift a leg to move the foot in and out a few inches. It was hard work, and she tried to use her hand to help now and then, but there is definite progress occurring!

The discussion with the therapist seemed to lead Doreen to need to talk again about what had happened to her. So she and Judy discussed the brain hemorrhage again. We have all learned a lot about the issues, but this stretches the understanding of all of us!

Saturday's food request was Wendy's, so Daniel and Judy brought in food, and the four ate together in Doreen's room. She ate well, but not much, because she was dealing with some stomach cramps and didn't want to overdo it. At supper, Carl sat with her and helped her eat. The appetite stimulant has been discontinued, though, because the problem doesn't seem to be appetite any more. Unfortunately, some gagging has reoccurred, but hopefully that is just temporary.

(FYI: the Myers-Bowman family will be traveling to N. Manchester for MC Homecoming festivities on October 10-12. We'd love the opportunity to see friends during the day on Saturday. We're hoping to get there in time to hear Daniel and the A Capella Choir on Friday night. We'll also be spending time with mom in Ft. Wayne and trying to visit my new grand niece!- Clay)

Weekly Update

Sept. 17 Update
by Judy

None of us has been to see Dad or Mom in person for a few days, but we have gotten some reports to post here. The reports come from staff at Covington Manor and from Dad by phone.

First, an exciting advancement occurred on Monday. Mom was taken to St. Joseph hospital for a swallow study. That involves sensors and X-rays to make sure things are going where they are supposed to go when she swallows. The study gave her a high grade—she is swallowing fine. So…she no longer needs thickening in everything she drinks! She can have regular thin tea, regular milk, water, and all other sorts of ordinary drinks. Hurray! She has been very patient with nectar-thick liquids, but she was really ready to move on!

A call from Covington Manor this morning indicated that Mom is eating well as long as she gets help. They stopped feeding her through the feeding tube last week, because she had been saying that she wasn’t hungry at mealtime. Apparently, that decision was a good one. She is eating better. One nurse said she fed Mom all weekend and that she ate virtually her entire meals as long as she had assistance with her meals. The Center wants to monitor Mom’s weight for another week and make sure she is stabilized before they remove the tube, but we may be getting close to the time that we can get rid of that thing!

Dad’s report from today was that Mom was weak and had extra problems with tremors and weakness in her arms, so more tests were done to identify the source of the problems. We will pass the results on when we know them.

Dad is doing well at Timbercrest, but he really would rather be in the same place as Mom. He has enjoyed movies and other programs, and he reports that it is a very supportive and family-oriented place. He has help with his medications and his eyedrops and gets lots of attention. If only we could find a place for both Mom and Dad to be under the same roof! Both of them have expressed that they have been lonely. The visits help, but we all want more for them. Thanks for the cards and messages. That all helps!

Weekend Update

Saturday, Sept. 6
By Doreen (as told to Judy)

Doreen asked Judy to contact Clay to update the blog. (Note that she has not seen the blog much, but she knows about it and wants to keep it updated. We are looking forward to the day that she can write her own updates!) Judy asked what she thought should be reported on the blog, and below is what Doreen listed:

She walked about 100 feet using the walker on Friday. She also took about 60 steps through the parallel bars with minimal support. She wanted to tell you all that the therapist said that she was making exercises look easy that other people in her situation find really difficult.

She has used the T-Stim (an electronic stimulation tool to stimulate particular muscles with electrodes) a couple of times to improve her swallowing. She thought it was helping.
She is eating well, but she is getting a little tired of some of the food!

Judy’s report:
Mom is clearly getting stronger. The transfers from bed to wheelchair and back are smoother all the time. She requires only minimal lifting and assistance (depending on how tired she is at the moment). We took some walks in the hall, and she “walked” the wheelchair part of the time, but she does have to work extra-hard to get her left leg to do an equal amount of pushing.

On Saturday, Mom’s eyes were closed much of the time again, and she seemed quite tired. It may be that she needed to catch up from, working hard over the course of the week, or maybe she had not slept well the night before. She did express some frustration with being isolated from everyone, because she doesn’t have a phone. She does have a phone in the room, but she can’t reach it easily and would have difficulty with dialing and holding the receiver to her ear. Judy called some family members on her cell phone and let Doreen talk for a while. It helps for her to feel connected. The cards help with that, too.

Again, thank you for your continuing support. It makes a difference for all of us as we struggle through the uncertainty of the future.

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Weekend Update

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
by Clay

Karen, Cameron, and I returned late last night from a long weekend in Indiana. Our primary activity was to drop Daniel off at Manchester College for the start of his first year. We also spent lots of time with Carl and Doreen. Karen and her sisters are working on getting a much more thorough update, but I thought I'd give you a few observations, for a change.

The photo to the right really tells the whole story. It was taken after a walk outside with Carl and Daniel. Realizing that the sun was very bright, the only sunglasses available were ones that I use for running and biking. Doesn't Doreen look spiffy? At the time I took the photo, she was very tired from the walk: foot rests were forgotten and she needed to either pull herself along or lift her legs. I'm sure her abs and quads were sore the next day. She said that she really enjoyed being outside for a change and appreciated being able to just sit comfortably.

The other highlight (two really) was Doreen's appetite. I'm sure Karen will have a much more detailed account, but on Saturday, we brought in food from Taco Bell and ate with Doreen in a conference room. She exhibited a tremendous zeal in eating her chicken taco salad, chips, and cinnamon crisps. On Sunday, the family ordered Chinese food and ate together in a room adjoining the one from the previous day. The photo here is Daniel helping mom with balancing her food on the spork (a nearly useless utensil when eating a salad).



Talk about zeal!!! Doreen seemed to attack the noodles and other food with abandon (exhibiting little of her former decorum). According to Karen, her sisters, and Carl, they've not seen Doreen eat so much food since the hemorrhage.

Karen and I won't be returning to Indiana until Manchester's homecoming on October 11th. As Doreen continues her progress, your cards and visits will help fill in the gaps and keep Doreen focused and engaged in her recovery. Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts.

Monday Update

August 25, 2008
By Judy

Today was another moving day, but this one was a move to a lot more independence! First, Doreen and Judy made the trip in her Honda. Nurse Sally wheeled her to the car and helped her into the passenger seat. Everyone said goodbyes. The seat belts were fastened, and Doreen held a small jar of flowers in her hands during the whole trip (almost half an hour).

After arriving at Covington Manor, a nurse from Covington Manor transferred her to a wheelchair again, and Doreen entered the rehab center. This center feels much less like a hospital and more like a place to work and socialize. The therapy room was full of people working hard on large and small muscles. When Judy left at lunchtime, residents were seated (many in wheelchairs) around square tables, waiting for their meals to be served.

The meals come on trays, but the staff serves the food to the residents like in a restaurant. Doreen’s concern was whether someone would help her eat. The lunch attendant assured her she would get help. It appears, though, that the participants are expected to do as much as they can for themselves. Apparently Doreen was expected to transport herself to and from meals. That is great exercise, but she may need to have a little more supervision at this point. At supper she had spilled some tea on herself. When she got back to her room, she fell from her wheelchair as she tried to change her pants. She didn’t get hurt, but the procedures will be a little more supervised for a while!

Doreen is in a semi-private room, but she does not have a roommate at this point. Visitors are welcome, but it would be good to coordinate and make sure that there are not too many visitors at once. And some of the visit may consist of watching therapy sessions, because much of her day will be spent in that way. Meals are at 8, 12, and 6.

Over the next couple of days, Carl’s younger brother Dick and wife Barbara will be visiting, so that will another fun distraction and also a reminder about the motivations for the work. Next weekend many families will be together for Labor Day and wishing Daniel a good send-off to Manchester College.

Sunday Update

August 24, 2008
By Judy and Linda

My, my, my! What a whirlwind of emotion and activity this weekend. Mom's sudden improvements meant finding a new "home" after the acute care hospital that she no longer needs. She is more alert and conversant than we have seen her in a lo-o-ong time. Several skilled nursing facilities were toured so we could make an informed choice about moving Mom to more extensive rehabilitation and therapy services. We settled on the rehabilitation unit at Covington Manor at 5700 Wilke Road off west Jefferson in Ft. Wayne. It was difficult to decide from many wonderful options. We realized we could search and search for the perfect match forever. We opted to make a decision that was as good as possible in the time we had and relied on input from many sources before choosing a very respected facility for the next stage of Doreen's therapy. Covington came highly recommended and feels like a good next step. Judy will move her in (by transporting her in her car!—another first) on Monday morning.

We are excited to hear what the next accomplishments will be for Mom. At Covington Manor, they will not let her get away with asking to go back to bed. They do therapy 7 days a week, they expect residents to eat together in the dining room, and Mom will not be able to just ask to go back to bed without a lot of prodding and encouragement to keep working. They even have a Wii that is used for therapy!

We thought at first that this would be a step toward a more complete rehab facility, but this program is called Homeward Bound, and the expectation is that residents will go to their home setting after therapy here. So we hope this is the final address change before a final home that will bring Mom and Dad to the same address!

Dad has been enjoying Timbercrest. He has attended choir practice, has made a number of new friends and connected with many old ones, and is learning to negotiate the rhythms and routines of the Timbercrest community. There have been a few bumps in the road, but we hope to smooth those out.

One more thing we have done is to engage the services of a geriatric care specialist who will advocate for us and help to coordinate all the myriad services and agencies we still need to negotiate. Now that we all need to return to work and school, this specialist will also be able to be present when we can’t and can be a local person in case of emergencies. We wish we would have had this help earlier!

Let us know if you need more information about finding the new facility. And thanks to Jim Garber for helping to manage all your generous offers of help to carry Dad to see Mom!